3 posts tagged “qotd”

What are you most looking forward to in August?

I'm looking forward to my fifth wedding anniversary, and spending it with my wife for 3 days in Seattle. I've never been anywhere north of Chico, and I haven't flown in a long time (outside of a few trips for baseball while in college).

I also want to squeeze in one more long hike--I want to see if I can make it across the San Gabriel range from Baldy to Wrightwood. 

And of course, August will be the month I'll get to meet approximately 150 incoming 8th graders who, hopefully, will have their minds irreparably infected by the always new and improved "Mr. Vega's English Class."

I've got high hopes for September too:

Pending financial aid, I'll get to start a graduate program at UCR, and then there's church family camp up in Big Bear during Labor Day Weekend. And, finally, all three of our immediate family's birthdays fall in September. Jackson will be 2, and his is the day before mine, so he steals the thunder.

Have you ever broken a bone? If not, what's the worst injury you've sustained?

• 3 concussions-- 2 snowboarding (one mini-competition, one freeriding), and 1 knocked out in a bench-clearing rumble (Cal State San Bernardino vs. Cal State Stanislaus, April 2000, I think)
• broken nose (4th grade face plant off some monkey bar rings)
• Broken fingerX3 (hit with a baseball)
• torn ligament on finger (sliding head first into second--finger stayed with the base, body went flying past)
• 2 broken arms (first grade monkey bars, 10th grade snowboarding)
• Dislocated rib, still pops out so I can't lay comfortably on my stomach (snowboarding)
• Broken bone somewhere near sinus cavity (hit in the face with a pitch, now I get brain freezes behind my right eye).

I apologize to my parents. Now that I have a kid, I can sort of imagine the daily hell my brothers, sisters, and I put them through. 

A little off topic, but I'll go with my favorite fake apology:

Example: "I'm sorry I hurt you."

It's really  an accusation cleverly disguised as an apology.

Almost inevitably, this sort of "apology" is followed by an explanation of how the action in question really wasn't intended to cause any harm, so the offender really isn't an offender at all. It's all in the mind of the person who THINKS they have been offended!

How is this an accusation? Well, the "apologizer" has no remorse for the action itself in this case. Their sorrow stems from the fact that the offended party has yet again "MISINTERPRETED" a set of actions. Supposedly, the problem lies with the offended one. THEY (the offended) have misinterpreted. THEIR (again the offended) feelings have been hurt, when there really was no reason for them to be. It's all one big misunderstanding.

Contrast this set of circumstances with a true apology: "I'm sorry. I screwed up. The fault lies with me."

However, most of us, myself included, find it a bit more comfortable to discreetly shift the blame from ourselves, and in the case of "I'm sorry I hurt you", the implication is that the blame really lies with the person who is offended. The supposed "offense" never should have taken place, because it was never intended. Who's fault is this? The person being apologized to. It's really a nifty little trick.

"I didn't mean to hurt you." Ok. Maybe, they're really sorry they "hurt" you, but there's no mention of being sorry for any action. The behavior that caused harm is likely to occurr over and over again, because remember, they weren't sorry for the behavior. They were sorry that YOU (the offended one) had a few hurt feelings.

The neat thing is, we're all left with this disfunctionally tidy satisfaction. The offender sheds the burden of responsibility for their action (onto the shoulders of the offended one), and the offended one gets their apology.